Blog

Where I’ve Been and Where I’m Going

Huh

It’s a weird day for me. I feel at odds. Sort of wishy-washy, sort of… I don’t…. bored? Indifferent? Antsy? In some ways, I blame my therapist. She put the fricking idea into my head that I am capable of moderating. She–like Rob–pointed out how I’ve already successfully done this in the past year. She … Continue reading Huh

Punching Through

It is so weird how cravings work. One minute you’re totally fine, totally committed to your “B from B” (Break from Booze), and the next something minor happens that gives you a jolt of excitement, and your immediate thought is, “Woo-hoo! I want a cocktail!” And then starts the process of reigning that traitor thought … Continue reading Punching Through

Having Fun

At the end of Kate’s, Sober School, video today on Taking a Break from Alcohol, she leaves you with a journal prompt: write down the ways in which alcohol has stopped you from having fun. I found this interesting, a different spin from always thinking about how it helps me to have a good time. Let’s dig … Continue reading Having Fun

Goodbye Letter

The book I’m reading, Alcohol is Shit, has exercises at the end of each chapter. Today I’m going to do one I found…interesting. It says to write a “goodbye” letter to alcohol. You’re to include your history, your present, whatever you feel necessary in order to tell your story and say audios to the toxic liquid. … Continue reading Goodbye Letter

Looking to Grow

I did something. This morning when I discovered that my corporate office will take care of your first ten therapy visits (should you need them), I decided that I would take advantage of this. I decided that maybe God was leading me to. I scheduled an appointment with a licensed therapist named Becky. I go … Continue reading Looking to Grow

Uncovering Me

I’m having a drink right now. Truthfully, I’ve “had a drink” since Thursday night. I went five days with no alcohol then Thursday night said, “Screw it,” and ordered a favorite at dinner with my parents–a Long Island Iced Tea. When I got home, I had one more drink before bed. Friday, I had a cocktail … Continue reading Uncovering Me

Another Friday

It’s Friday at 4:30. I’m looking down the nose at another weekend, my plan, without booze. What I know right now? My husband is home having himself a neat whiskey. He’s listening to music on his laptop, sipping away, while he does one of his “mock drafts.” Soon, I will get home and we will take … Continue reading Another Friday

Sober Parenting

Rob is out of town this week. He left early yesterday morning and won’t be back until Thursday afternoon. I wasn’t too upset that he had to go. This past weekend he was rather snappish and sort of checked out. Not all day every day but definitely for periods of time. He’d slept poorly Thursday … Continue reading Sober Parenting

Feeling Blue

I’m having a bad day. I didn’t start off this way. I started off in… a decent mood. I got sleep last night. Zonked out b/c of taking a Lunesta (which I haven’t done often lately). I showered, left the house, stopped at Walmart to finish off the kids’ school supply shopping, then grabbed a coffee and … Continue reading Feeling Blue

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