Where I’ve Been and Where I’m Going
It’s a weird day for me. I feel at odds. Sort of wishy-washy, sort of… I don’t…. bored? Indifferent? Antsy? In some ways, I blame my therapist. She put the fricking idea into my head that I am capable of moderating. She–like Rob–pointed out how I’ve already successfully done this in the past year. She … Continue reading Huh
It is so weird how cravings work. One minute you’re totally fine, totally committed to your “B from B” (Break from Booze), and the next something minor happens that gives you a jolt of excitement, and your immediate thought is, “Woo-hoo! I want a cocktail!” And then starts the process of reigning that traitor thought … Continue reading Punching Through
At the end of Kate’s, Sober School, video today on Taking a Break from Alcohol, she leaves you with a journal prompt: write down the ways in which alcohol has stopped you from having fun. I found this interesting, a different spin from always thinking about how it helps me to have a good time. Let’s dig … Continue reading Having Fun
The book I’m reading, Alcohol is Shit, has exercises at the end of each chapter. Today I’m going to do one I found…interesting. It says to write a “goodbye” letter to alcohol. You’re to include your history, your present, whatever you feel necessary in order to tell your story and say audios to the toxic liquid. … Continue reading Goodbye Letter
I met Becky, my therapist today. It went….well. Good. Yeah, good. There was a point where I was wondering if the visit was worth my time and money, but I realized–while sitting there on her couch–that it was more MY fault than hers. I needed to be honest. I needed to put out the truth, … Continue reading Speaking to a Professional
I did something. This morning when I discovered that my corporate office will take care of your first ten therapy visits (should you need them), I decided that I would take advantage of this. I decided that maybe God was leading me to. I scheduled an appointment with a licensed therapist named Becky. I go … Continue reading Looking to Grow
I’m having a drink right now. Truthfully, I’ve “had a drink” since Thursday night. I went five days with no alcohol then Thursday night said, “Screw it,” and ordered a favorite at dinner with my parents–a Long Island Iced Tea. When I got home, I had one more drink before bed. Friday, I had a cocktail … Continue reading Uncovering Me
It’s Friday at 4:30. I’m looking down the nose at another weekend, my plan, without booze. What I know right now? My husband is home having himself a neat whiskey. He’s listening to music on his laptop, sipping away, while he does one of his “mock drafts.” Soon, I will get home and we will take … Continue reading Another Friday
Rob is out of town this week. He left early yesterday morning and won’t be back until Thursday afternoon. I wasn’t too upset that he had to go. This past weekend he was rather snappish and sort of checked out. Not all day every day but definitely for periods of time. He’d slept poorly Thursday … Continue reading Sober Parenting
I’m having a bad day. I didn’t start off this way. I started off in… a decent mood. I got sleep last night. Zonked out b/c of taking a Lunesta (which I haven’t done often lately). I showered, left the house, stopped at Walmart to finish off the kids’ school supply shopping, then grabbed a coffee and … Continue reading Feeling Blue
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