I’m a little nervous. Tomorrow I leave for a family vacation. My husband, my two kids, my sister and her two kids, we’re all headed up to the Rocky Mountains for a weeklong getaway. I’m super excited to be putting Nebraska in my rearview mirror—it’s been REALLY hot and humid here—but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a touch apprehensive about spending seven days up in a place that for years I’ve been known to tie one on.
We’ve been going to Colorado since I was a kid, and since junior year of high school, I’ve been drinking up there on every vacation. EVERY Vacation.
Last summer, when I was fresh off reading Annie Grace’s, This Naked Mind, I was able to abstain the whole week. I was revved up, excited by the idea of quitting alcohol for good. This propelled me to have only positive thoughts on the trip. I didn’t even suffer hard cravings. They came and they went, with me easily dispatching them. I’m telling myself I can repeat this same behavior on this year’s trip… but I’m also realistic in admitting that I’m not in the exact headspace I was last July. I’m good, but am I great? Not so much. I still feel shaky after my boozy 4th of July long weekend.
I did something, though. Something I’m rather proud of. One of the things I read about in a quit lit book told me that I should try and hold myself more accountable by establishing a relationship with other people going through the same sober journey as me. Yesterday I reached out over Facebook in an Alcohol Free Group I joined last November (and only once in a while participated in). I asked if there would be anyone out there who’d want to be my “accountability buddy,” someone who I could check in with every couple of days and just report how I was doing. Or ask for advice. Or rant or rave. Lol. And vice-versa. Immediately I had three people message me on the side. Two of them have now agreed to do this. I’m so relieved! And excited in a way. Perhaps I won’t feel so alone in my struggles now. Perhaps I could help others, too.
So yep, tomorrow I leave. The family is all packed up (with just a few last minutes items to add in the morning). The car is cleaned and gassed up. The dogs are at this minute headed to my father-in-law’s. It’s only a matter of hours before the kids, my husband, and I are backing out of our driveway to go meet my sister and nephews. We ARE going to have fun. We ARE going to have new adventures, make memories, bond over activities and good food. And I AM NOT going to drink.